Dave – 8 November 2012
Cartoons
Time
‘We have some time to kill.’
Teenagers
‘My Dad’s a Tory backbencher — he’s going through a rebellious phase.’
Undercover
‘We have very high standards here — all our staff are undercover reporters.’
Antiques
‘I’d say it’s Chinese.’
Texting
‘Here endeth the texting’
Undecided
‘I’m undecided which way I would vote in an election — just as I’m undecided whether to let off the thermal nuclear device I’m building in my garage.’
Neglect
‘We’re going to rush you straight through to intensive neglect.’
Zoo
‘My mistake — petting zoo is next door along.’
Bond 2
‘Fruit juice, shaken not stirred . . . ’
Coma
‘Let’s see. Coma. Coma. Coma. Coma. Coma. Chameleon.’
Tories
‘They say that the crew are all hopeless Tories, doomed to spend eternity wittering on about Europe and limits on abortion.’
Tv 3
‘Oh, well, if there aren’t any programmes on about policemen chasing scantily clad, drunken fat girls around the centre of Cardiff, I’m off to bed.’
Relate
‘OK, Pip and Estella . . . ’
Reaper
‘I’m not a reaper any more. In the modern NHS, my title is Grim Pathway Co-ordinator.’
