Dave – 5 December 2013
Cartoons
Green
‘Can we cut all the green crap?’
Scottish
‘Let’s elope to Gretna Green to separate.’
Dementia
‘If I were you I’d forget about it.’
Chickens
‘We’re still looking into it, but we’re pretty sure it stands for “Kind, Friendly, Courteous” chicken farm.’
Smoking 2
‘Hello, we’re trying to find somewhere we can smoke…’
Frackland
‘Henceforth to be known as Frackland...’
Lava
‘Next time they offer us something to make our lives more comfortable, let me do the talking.’
Tweet 5
‘Sweetheart, would you like to tweet grace?’
Elvis
‘It’s the Belmonts. They’ve found a potato from their allotment that looks like Elvis, do we want to go round?’
Galley
‘Since the galley had new Spanish owners, the rhythm of the galley slaves had gone haywire.’
Christmas 2
‘OK. Can we make that the last time you refer to Christmas as “Black Wednesday”?’
Calendar 3
‘You open the door and hundreds of thousands of Bulgarians come flooding through.’
