03 April 2004

Dear Mary… Several friends living overseas have indicated that they will be coming to England this summer and that they would like to pay us a visit. However, since seeing them last, these friends have produced a number of infants and they seem to labour under the delusion that I am more interested in seeing

The Metropolitan Police have put up big posters on the Underground telling people what to do if they see a bag without an owner. ‘Don’t touch, check with other passengers, inform station staff or call 999,’ it says. You might think that I am being captious in thinking this reads badly. If the word don’t