The Battle for Britain – 29 September 2016

‘The prisoner is complaining that the prison uniform makes him look fat.’
‘I don’t know much about arse but I know what I like.’
‘I must stop checking my messages in the middle of the night.’
‘Before I talk to him, check him for migrants.’
‘I’ll take it!’
‘Can’t you see I’m running a start-up from this table?’
‘What do you mean, we’re “typical middle-aged men in lycra”?’
‘I thought you put him in here!’