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Wednesday
It’s just us so this must be hell
‘It’s just us so this must be hell.’
Happy Valentine’s!
Funny and happy
‘I want to be funny and happy.’
It doesn’t provide any get out for Keir
‘Apparently it doesn’t provide any get out for Keir.’
I’m looking for a book the right size and weight to rest my laptop on in bed
‘I’m looking for a book the right size and weight to rest my laptop on in bed.’
What kind of woman envies her daughter?
My mother hated Motherland, storming out after five minutes, saying Julia’s frantic school drop-off was too much like real life. She’d have loathed Amanda, the self-styled ‘alpha mum’. But I loved it – and was happy with the spin-off Amandaland, where Dame Joanna Lumley plays Amanda’s mother with gleeful froideur. When interviewed alongside her screen daughter, Lucy Punch, Lumley commented that one of the reasons for their characters’ taut relationship is how ageing women are resentful of their pretty daughters. Maternal envy, being rather destructive for all concerned, has provoked much debate in the papers (and no doubt consternation at dinner parties across Middle England). In the Daily Telegraph, Anna
Generation Bland: the inevitable rise of ‘Palentine’s Day’
As we approach with anticipation or dread 14 February, the day we traditionally celebrate love and all things amorous, a certain demographic will instead be observing a rather less passionate and altogether more bland occasion: ‘Palentine’s Day’. Commemorated on 13 February, this is apparently the date upon which to honour platonic friendships instead of romantic engagements – and it’s proving increasingly popular among Generation Z. It all started with ‘Galentine’s Day’, a celebration of female friendship invented by the character Leslie Knope in American political satire mockumentary Parks and Recreation in 2010. As the concept moved from comedy to real life it morphed into the gender-neutral ‘Palentine’s’ – lest anyone
Never write a book
I have just finished writing a book and am moping about the house at a loose end. The conventional advice to anyone thinking about writing a book is: don’t. Unless you’re one of the 1 per cent of authors who make 99 per cent of the money, it’s a mug’s game as far as making a living is concerned. Your cleaning lady earns more per hour. So my advice is only write a book if you have an alternative source of income. One of the hardest things about writing a book is stopping. The temptation to tinker persists until the publisher screams at you to stop and mutters that publishing
Tuesday
With Groove Armada’s Andy Cato
19 min listen
Andy Cato is a musician, record producer and DJ, and is perhaps best known as one half of the Grammy Award-winning electronic music duo Groove Armada. Andy is also a farmer and now puts his energy into championing a better food system as co-founder of Wildfarmed, the UK’s leading regenerative food and farming company. Backed by Jeremy Clarkson and hundreds of farmers nationwide, regenerative farming methods place nature at the heart of food production: protecting natural landscapes, minimising pesticide use and building food security. On the podcast, he tells Lara about nutrition on world music tours, his favourite food spot at Glastonbury Festival and why he sold the rights to his music
Michelin’s relaunch is a recipe for disaster
The Michelin Man is in trouble. In fact, his job is on the line. For 125 years, the Michelin Man, real name Bibendum, has been the face of the Michelin Guide: a coveted series of publications that award restaurants for excellence. But last week, news broke that the guide is attempting to reinvent itself in a bid to keep up with the world of online food reviews. Much like an aged B-list celebrity on a serious comedown, the guide is looking towards the internet for validation. In its endeavour to stay relevant, Michelin runs the risk of tarnishing the very thing that has kept it afloat for over a century:
Why are music biopics so bad?
The Led Zeppelin singer Robert Plant was driving through America 20 years ago when he heard a radio station announce that if any listener donated $10,000, they’d never play ‘Stairway to Heaven’ again. Somewhat tired of the song himself, Plant rang up and pledged the cash. ‘It’s not that I don’t like it,’ he later said. ‘It’s just that I’ve heard it before.’ Rather the same attitude seems to have been taken in the band’s new biopic, Becoming Led Zeppelin, which was released in British cinemas last week. The trailer calls it the band’s ‘first ever authorised documentary’, but fans hoping that this means seeing rough cuts of ‘Stairway’ should
I’m a ruthless declutterer. It has cost me
There are two types of people: the hoarders and those who are always chucking things out because they hate clutter. I fall into the latter category. In my view, a well-ordered environment makes for a well-ordered mind. So you’ll not see my desk buried beneath the usual office detritus, nor my car strewn with apple cores, empty crisp packets, and scrunched-up receipts. In moments of boredom, I enjoy going through a drawer or cupboard to weed out items no longer required. However, my long-standing urge to jettison useless stuff has led to trouble. One episode still haunts me. I was in the kitchen with my mother, who was cooking an
Monday
There’s nothing toxic about centrist dads
‘Centrist dad’, a term that has been with us for a decade or so, has never exactly been a compliment. In 2017, even Tony Blair – then still pretty close to being political toxic waste – disavowed the label, declaring: ‘I’m not a centrist dad.’ In that same year a chap named Matt Zarb-Cousin, a spokesman for Jeremy Corbyn – who astonishingly was the leader of the opposition at the time – described centrist dads as ‘middle-aged men who cannot come to terms with the world and politics changing.’ Zarb-Cousin added hubristically: ‘They think they must know better because they are older and wiser.’ (Fortunately the centrist dads did know better,
The sad decline of stationery
The news that WHSmith is facing closure seemed inevitable. Good stationery may be one of the pleasures of life, but is anyone actually buying much any more? Of course, people will always need pens, string, bubble wrap and so on, yet the heyday of stationery has definitely passed. There was a time, when people still wrote letters to each other or used writing implements as a matter of course, that it was a large part of our shopping, especially if you were a school kid. We wrote in pen and ink (no biros), and for a child of the 1970s or 1980s, this usually meant the choice between a Sheaffer
Who really lost when the Berlin Wall fell?
The fall of the Berlin Wall was meant to have been the crowning moment for the West, and for the principles of empowering liberation and freedom. Obviously so – I used to think. Now I’m more along the lines of, well, yes and no. The fall also seems in some ways to divide the former good times from the current bad times, both for Germany and for the rest of us. Such thoughts came to mind after I headed to Berlin to witness the New Year’s Eve fireworks display, during which the city is turned into the most attractive war zone you’ll encounter. I stayed with my brother, a creative
Sunday
The delightful melancholy of an antiques shop
Antique shops are melancholy places. The deep leather armchairs, Anglepoise lamps and bamboo bookshelves. They ask questions: who sat, worked or read using these? Banal questions, possibly, but life is generally banal, and no less poignant for that. It’s not an unpleasant sort of melancholia. Quite the opposite. If I had to create a word to describe the feeling, I’d say it was melanphoria: ‘a state of intense excitement arising from a feeling of deep sadness’. One feels both a nostalgia for the lives of strangers and a sense of life’s possibilities. If this is abnormal, I would ask any amateur psychiatrists to write to The Spectator offices. I am
Saturday
Steve Coogan should stick to comedy
How amusing to hear Steve Coogan and Emily Maitlis pontificate about the dreaded ‘establishment’ on Maitlis’s News Agents podcast recently. During a discussion about Coogan’s role as Brian Walden in Brian and Maggie – Channel 4’s two-part drama about Walden’s final, sensational interview with Margaret Thatcher in 1989 – the comedian admits that although he identifies with Thatcher’s lower-middle-class background, he had concerns that the script might make her seem too sympathetic. Heaven forbid. Coogan considers the drama to be as much about class as a lament for long-form interviews, suggesting that intelligent outsiders such as Walden, Thatcher and indeed Coogan himself will always struggle to break through the cut-glass ceiling.
Friday
Wagers for the weekend and the Cheltenham Festival
Trainer Rebecca Curtis has experienced plenty of challenging seasons since her successes in the early 2010s, when her owners included the legendary Irishman J.P. McManus and her numerous winners included four at the Cheltenham Festival. She eventually added a fifth Festival winner in 2020 when the 50-1 shot Lisnagar Oscar landed the Stayers’ Hurdle. As if to prove the old saying ‘form is temporary, class is permanent’, Curtis has showed signs of reviving the glory days with an impressive 18 per cent winning strike rate from her runners this season. Furthermore, I think that she has a massive chance of landing a sixth Festival winner next month with her horse
