And Daddy says can I also ask for a new prime minister?
‘And Daddy says can I also ask for a new prime minister?’
‘And Daddy says can I also ask for a new prime minister?’
‘He’s not getting another present until we get a thank-you letter!’
‘What do you suggest for my dad who’s now my mother?’
‘Is our flu coming to you, or is your flu coming to us?’
‘And I’d vote Reform.’
Like most freelance writers, I have a notepad full of jottings which come under the loose category of ‘Ideas I Probably Won’t Get Round To Doing As I Doubt Anyone Will Be Interested, They’re A Bit Rubbish Anyway And It Probably Wouldn’t Pay Much’. Around halfway down this list is a book provisionally entitled A Hard Day’s Fight, in which I espouse my opinions on a plethora of Beatles-related debates, and add a few new ones of my own. So along with my theories that John Lennon didn’t write any good music while he was resident in New York (the Plastic Ono Band and Imagine albums were recorded in the
Every few years, an obituary for the Sloane Ranger appears. In 2015, the Telegraph proclaimed their death. In 2022, Peter York himself, co-author of The Official Sloane Ranger Handbook, wrote a devastating piece in the Oldie on the ‘End of the Sloane Age’. In it, he cast existential doubt on the species altogether: ‘By 2021, there seemed to be every possible shade of Sloane around in London. But were they really Sloanes at all? It looked as if the only way for a Sloane to succeed was to UnSloane themselves.’ You might think that if York himself had called time, then the death knell must have well and truly sounded. But no. In August this year, York – Lazarus to the last – reappeared in the Evening Standard to detail how reports of the Sloane Ranger’s death have been greatly exaggerated. Sloane Rangers are
Once upon a time, post was delivered by a postman or postwoman. Over the past two centuries, this quaint initiative augmented a sense of community and invested early mornings with at least fleeting human contact. These days, decades after the slow demise of letter writing, a postman is now a rather recherché figure and, thanks to Royal Mail price hikes, a symbol of luxury, despite the downgrading of his once resplendent red and blue woollen frockcoat for a synthetic combo including all-weather shorts. More and more, post – which we’re now encouraged to call ‘mail’ on the principle that all Americanisms are good – means the harvest of our online
Westminster is filled not just with politicians, journalists and unemployed protestors, but with tourists. The data would suggest they are mainly Americans, French and Italians who come to see the monuments of central London, visit friends and family, and see how we’re faring after Brexit. They’re probably pretty worried when they see Westminster Bridge. The amount of foot traffic on the bridge can be overwhelming; sometimes it’s impossible to cross it uninterrupted. People block your path and get in the way of each other, distracted by their phones. They wander blindly into the bike lanes, trying to carry out impromptu Instagram photoshoots, while aiming for the best angle of the
‘You haven’t dressed your dog.’
‘Are you a reliable news service or a propaganda outlet?’
‘We have a few notes on presentation and delivery.’
‘Message from the Hendersons – they’re sorry we didn’t quite make their Christmas card list this year, but Happy Christmas anyway.’
‘You look nothing like your profile photo.’
‘I’ve had to get rid of the naughty and nice lists, it was affecting mental health.’