‘And on that cliffhanger, we’ll have to wait until tomorrow to find out what happens next.’
‘And on that cliffhanger, we’ll have to wait until tomorrow to find out what happens next.’
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Friday
Seating plan
‘He came off Snowzempic.’
‘He came off Snowzempic.’
Thursday
‘It’s enlightening but not in a good way.’
‘It’s enlightening but not in a good way.’
‘I prefer something based on a true story.’
‘I prefer something based on a true story.’
‘You were the future once.’
‘You were the future once.’
‘I’m afraid he’s a young white male.’
‘I’m afraid he’s a young white male.’
Monday
Does it really matter if Grok undresses us all?
I’ve been fat and I’ve been thin; I’ve been pretty and I’ve been plain – ugly, even. Throughout this, my self-esteem has stayed generally constant, as if you’re going to base it on something as ephemeral as physical beauty, you’re going to run out of road very quickly indeed. This objective attitude to my own appearance reminds me of a funny story from the infant days of the internet. Imagine my surprise one morning to receive a message from an unknown recipient informing me that they had film of me masturbating to online pornography which they would make available to a wider audience should I fail to pay a ransom.
Wednesday
Take a trip to The Bone Temple
28 Years Later, Danny Boyle’s ace return to the 28 Days later series, was one of last year’s most pleasant cinematic surprises. Combining serious thrills with creeping suspense and a light dusting of social commentary, it also ended with one hell of a cliffhanger, as its protagonist, Alfie Williams’s young Spike, found himself in the hands of a gang of psychotic Jimmy Savile-styled desperadoes, led by Jack O’Connell’s sinister Lord Jimmy Crystal. Audiences were keen to see how Candyman and Hedda director Nia DaCosta could pick up the pieces in the next installment, The Bone Temple – once again scripted by Alex Garland – and how the narrative threads sewn
Monday
John le Carré was boring and unpleasant
I have been having a John le Carré holiday. Five years after the great master of the spy thriller went to his final safe house in the sky, I spent chunks of the festive season watching two of his series on TV, and reading a slim volume called The Secret Life of John le Carré by his biographer Adam Sisman. Amazon Prime’s big New Year drama offering is The Night Manager, a sequel series to one of le Carré’s later stories, and simultaneously the BBC has been re-running le Carré’s 1970s masterpiece, the seven-part mole hunt Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy, starring the late, great Alec Guinness as spymaster George Smiley.
Friday
‘We didn’t want dogs.’
‘We didn’t want dogs.’
‘Sorry, this is a billionaires’ club – no millionaires allowed.’
‘Sorry, this is a billionaires’ club – no millionaires allowed.’
‘CDs? You’re so old-fashioned, Dad.’
‘CDs? You’re so old-fashioned, Dad.’
‘The old rules-based order is history.’
‘The old rules-based order is history.’
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Rate delivery
‘It’s America Thirst.’
‘It’s America Thirst.’
Greenland
‘Well, it wasn’t there yesterday.’
‘Well, it wasn’t there yesterday.’