The Battle for Britain | 9 December 2023
Society
Wednesday
The feminist case for banning women from the Garrick
I’ve always had a soft spot for the Garrick. Named after an 18th-century theatrical impresario, it was established in 1831 as a club where ‘actors and men of refinement and education might meet on equal terms’, and in the intervening years it has admitted members of other equally disreputable professions – lawyers, writers, surgeons, journalists. I was put up myself about 15 years ago, but blackballed by the chair of the catering committee who took exception to a throwaway remark I’d made about the food. I intend to reapply, but will probably be blackballed again on account of the argument I’m about to make in defence of the club’s ‘men
Puzzle | 9 December 2023
White to play and mate in two moves. Composed by Werner Speckmann, Deutsche Schachzeitung, 1980. This problem has two solutions – can you find both? Then move White’s king from e5 to g8 and find two more solutions (again, mate in two). Please note that there is no prize for this week’s puzzle due to the Christmas printing schedule. Last week’s solution 1 Bb5+ Ke8 2 Rg3! wins one of the bishops. Not 1 Rg3 Bc6! or 1 Bc4 Rf6! Last week’s winner Chris McSheehy, Mattingley, Hants
Sinquefield Cup
The Sinquefield Cup in St Louis ended last week in victory for Fabiano Caruana, who thereby took first place in the 2023 Grand Chess Tour, extending his impressive run of form this year. Caruana’s victory pushes his rating back over the 2800 mark, securing his place just behind Carlsen in the rating list. The event saw an early disappointment as Jan-Krzysztof Duda withdrew due to illness after drawing his first round game against Anish Giri. As is the custom, that result was removed from the standings, and in the first four rounds of the tournament just one decisive game was played. Three cheers for the internet wordsmith who coined the ingenious
Why terrine is the perfect Christmas starter
When you’re planning Christmas, the big event is the easy bit. No, hear me out. It’s obviously a production – a feast! – more of an exercise in logistics than it is complicated cooking, making sure all the many elements come together at the correct moment. I’m not trying to underplay the amount of effort that it takes, but in terms of the constituent parts, it’s relatively straightforward. Most of us are turkey families, but if you’re a goose or rib of beef or nut-roast household, chances are that you’re fully aware of this as soon as you sit down to write your Christmas grocery list. There will always be
The UN vs Israel
There’s an old joke about the United Nations having a football team. ‘But who would they play?’ it goes. ‘Why, Israel of course.’ There may not be much humour in it, but there’s plenty of truth. Despite Israel being set up by UN vote, it has been the world’s premier forum for Israel-bashing, particularly since the country won wars of self-defence in 1967 and 1973. Perhaps the most notorious moment was the ‘Zionism is racism’ resolution in 1975, when the foundations of the Jewish state were suddenly under assault. On that occasion the late great Democrat Daniel Patrick Moynihan gave one of the best counter-blast speeches ever given on the
Letters: why not let readers buy The Spectator?
Power to the readers Sir: I would suggest that even if the government of the UAE gives a ‘cast-iron’ guarantee not to interfere with The Spectator’s editorial line, this should be taken with a very large pinch of salt (‘The real deal’, 2 December). Why don’t you ask your subscribers to buy the magazine? With nearly 140,000 of them, and 300,000 subscribing to your TV channel, surely we could raise £70 million, enough to satisfy Lloyds Bank? (It’s called ‘crowdfunding’, I believe.) Jo Aldenham London SW10 To the barricades Sir: In its leading article of 2 December, this magazine quotes John Howard’s comments recently about what makes up a functioning democracy, namely the
Why can’t I pray in Westminster Abbey?
In the school chapel every morning, bored and tired, I’d rest my forehead on the back of the chair in front and try to doze. The chapel chairs were dignified and sturdy, each with its own wooden box for hymn books and a flat top, carved with the name of a generous old girl. As morning chapel progressed, that name would slowly etch itself into my forehead so that sometimes even at lunchtime I still had the name of a past and more perfect pupil stamped backwards above my eyebrows. This is very much how I feel now about the Church of England. When you’re brought up in an institution,
Make drag innocent again!
One of the most regrettable things about the last decade of general cultural awfulness has been the politicisation and sexualisation of drag. The crude and frequently obvious art of blokes dolled up in women’s clobber has been a golden thread running through British comedy for centuries, from Falstaff in The Merry Wives of Windsor to Jack Duckworth as Ida Fagg in Coronation Street. Now, like everything else we used to enjoy, it’s wrapped up in the suffocating shroud of American identity politics. Astonishingly, drag is regularly referred to as a way for a man to find his ‘authentic self’. This surely is the opposite of its primal function – to
Ethics Man and Woman should win the game of politics
Next year there will be an election, and all the talk is of strategies for winning power. But for the elite Romans who thought about politics, the debate was not so much about power as about the ethics of those seeking it: did they possess virtus, i.e. moral excellence? And did they practise it? That was how Cicero, philosopher and statesman, began his discussion of the best form of state in his dialogue On the Republic. In Rome’s ‘laws and customs’, developed over the years by men of virtus, he saw embedded ‘devotion, justice, good faith, fair dealing, decency, restraint, the fear of disgrace, and the desire for praise and
Where does ‘panda diplomacy’ come from?
Black and white politics Two pandas, Yang Guang and Tian Tian, left Edinburgh Zoo for China after their 12-year loan to Britain ended. But contrary to popular belief, ‘panda diplomacy’ didn’t begin in 1972 when Chairman Mao gave two to the visiting Richard Nixon – and received two musk oxen in return. (In 1974, Mao also gave British PM Ted Heath the pandas that later inspired the World Wildlife Fund’s logo.) Instead, the first pandas sent by China to the West were from Soong Mei-ling, the wife of the Chinese president Chiang Kai-shek, in 1941 to thank the Americans for their help in repelling the Japanese invasion. The animals were
Help! I’m trapped in a leasehold flat
Generation Rent, we are always being told, are fed up of having to pay ‘dead’ money to their landlords. The rate of home ownership among 35- to 44-year-olds plunged from 74 per cent in 2003 to 56 per cent in 2019. But no one should think they will necessarily be better off, or feel more in control of their destiny, if they succeed in taking the plunge and buying a home. They could end up like me. Notionally, I have become a home owner by virtue of buying a one-bedroom flat in an ‘affordable housing’ scheme in Wandsworth, south London. Yet I feel more like a serf who must pay
The slow death of Christmas cake
Wouldn’t you just know it? Christmas cake, as in dense fruitcake covered with marzipan and usually tooth-destroying royal icing, is being displaced by chocolate cake. Almost half of a sample of 2,000 people surveyed by Ocado said they’d prefer chocolate to fruitcake. The trend is represented by Nigella Lawson, who is making something called a Winter Wonderland chocolate and raspberry cake instead. ‘Much as I happen to love a slice of dense, damp Christmas cake, especially when eaten with a crumbly slice of good, strong, sharp cheese, I am surrounded by those who abominate dried fruit in all its seasonal manifestations,’ she writes. ‘If no one in your family likes
Banning journalists won’t solve Man United’s problems
Manchester United, a mess of a club on and off the field, has come up with a novel solution to its growing problems: banning journalists from asking its manager questions. The club has blocked a number of high-profile sports reporters from attending a press conference with Erik ten Hag ahead of Wednesday’s match against Chelsea at Old Trafford. The banned journalists include Sky Sports’ chief reporter Kaveh Solhekol; Samuel Luckhurst, the chief Manchester United correspondent at the Manchester Evening News; Rob Dawson of ESPN, and David McDonnell from the Mirror. It remains unclear whether the ban applies for just one press conference or for all future briefings with the manager until
Bridge | 9 December 2023
As someone who gets anxious quite easily when faced with difficult bidding decisions (have I done too much? Or not enough? Will my partner be angry?), I admire players who just do what they feel is right without worrying. A refusal to be cowed by your opponents, or nervous about your partner’s reaction, is a great quality in bridge. One of the most confident and fearless players I know is Artur Malinowski, the manager of TGRs. If ever an auction demonstrated it, it’s this one from the recent World Bridge Tour teams tournament in Copenhagen – definitely a contender for my favourite hand of the year. Playing against the brilliant
Is it really un-Christian to listen to social media gossip?
‘Let’s get out of here,’ I whispered, almost in tears, as the priest finished his horrible homily. Standing at the altar in front of a stained-glass window showing Jesus with his arms outstretched, this priest was telling us all off for what had happened in Dublin, three hours’ drive away. I suppose we expected a bit of a lecture, going by the speeches about Palestine that we had been subjected to in previous weeks. We did so want to fit in by going to Mass, which had been noted by our Irish neighbours as a good thing. The priest told us how un-Christian we were being for listening to social
The new status symbol of the super rich: headlice
To help out friends, I sometimes collect a boy from his primary school near Sloane Square. This part of London boasts the most expensive homes in Britain and the local families are served by a crop of ultra-pricey schools. The best known, Hill House, was founded in the 1940s by an eccentric army officer, ‘the Colonel’, who replaced the traditional blazers, caps and ties with a uniform of soft shoes, breeches and cravats inspired by George Mallory’s climbing kit. The Colonel’s wife chose the colours – red, brown and saffron – and the pupils became a local landmark as they marched along the King’s Road to play games at the
Tuesday
Why Nella Rose was booted from I’m a Celeb
Farewell Nella Rose, second to be voted out of the jungle on the 2023 series of I’m A Celebrity… As always, it’s hard (at least for a soft-hearted chump like me) not to melt and mellow when an evicted campmate returns to the real world via the recivilising medium of an Ant and Dec exit interview. And, though I can hardly believe it, Nella was my favourite campmate on day one. Her decision to stir the pot by moving Sireix from chef duty to washing-up – out of pure spite for his criticism of her – was astonishingly selfish At the start the YouTuber seemed lively, funny, and refreshingly unconcerned
What fiction can teach us about terrorism
The first decade of this century, following Al Qaeda’s attack on the Twin Towers and the Pentagon in September 2001, was something of a golden age for films about terrorism, a spate of them following in quick succession. In the light of Hamas’s 7 October mass-killing of innocent Israelis, it’s interesting and informative to watch one or two again – and see how the nature of terrorism changes little. We get the terrorist as preening popstar, surrounded by women, whose every act of violence is like the release of a new album A good place to start is Antonia Bird’s The Hamburg Cell (2004), which tells the story of the
Monday
The chilling link between anti-Zionism and anti-Semitism
Isn’t it remarkable how similar anti-Zionism is to anti-Semitism? The latest proof of an intimate link between these two ideologies comes from Philadelphia. There, last night, a baying mob gathered outside a Jewish-owned restaurant to accuse the owners of being complicit in ‘genocide’. Guys, the 1930s called, they want their bigotry back. Last night’s protest was a genuinely vile affair. Actually, ‘protest’ is far too grand a name for this kind of gathering. It was more like a mini-pogrom, the noisy harassment of a restaurant for its sin of being founded by a Jew. The restaurant is called Goldie. It is owned by Mike Solomonov, an Israeli-born, Pittsburgh-raised, award-winning chef. ‘Goldie, Goldie, you
