Society

Thursday

Toby Young Toby Young

Fighting dirty

Why is local politics so much dirtier than national politics? Is it because the players are fighting over relatively trivial matters, like Oxbridge dons competing for college posts? As Henry Kissinger said, ‘University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.’ Or is it because local politicians are less likely to be exposed to the disinfectant of publicity? Well, I intend to remedy that. Last week, a Conservative councillor in Hounslow drew my attention to an election leaflet distributed by three prospective Labour councillors that contained the following misrepresentation under the headline ‘Chiswick School loses out to Free School’: ‘Chiswick School was on the list for Hounslow’s Building

Mary Killen

Dear Mary: How do I empty a chamberpot without my hosts noticing?

Q. One of our daughter’s godmothers has given very generous presents but never with any regularity. She was unable to attend the recent 18th birthday party but said on the telephone she hoped our daughter would like the present she was sending. No present has arrived. What is the protocol re thanking for something which has not turned up but may have been lost in the proverbial post? Or indeed, the absent-minded godmother may have forgotten to buy or post? — Name and address withheld A. Ring the godmother up shrieking with excitement. ‘The most marvellous bracelet has arrived in the post but with no card attached. Is it from

Charles Moore Charles Moore

Charles Moore: Teaching qualifications must include a stint in business — or the army

The most extraordinary thing about the scandal of Unite at Grangemouth and in Falkirk is how long it took the outside world to notice. Partly, this is an effect of devolution: almost nothing Scottish is now considered news in London, even if it is of kingdom-wide importance. Partly, it results from the loss of media and political attention to trade union affairs. So successful was Mrs Thatcher in taming union political power that newspapers laid off the labour correspondents who, in the 1970s and early 1980s, had been the aristocrats of the news room. As for the Tories, they have forgotten the Cold War arts of keeping dossiers on subversion.

Dot Wordsworth

Collagen

I saw an advertisement for Active Gold Collagen, and I realised I didn’t know what collagen means. My husband just laughed and said, ‘Horse hides,’ but this seemed unfair since the small print on the website of Boots (which sells it) said: ‘Does not contain porcine, bovine or other animal sources.’ I thought that odd, because the Oxford English Dictionary definition of collagen is: ‘A protein which is present in the form of fibres as a major constituent of bone, tendons, and other connective tissue and which yields gelatin on boiling and leather on tanning.’ So where did the makers get the collagen? Further down in the Boots small print

Gyles Brandreth

Gyles Brandeth’s diary: The pub where the Queen came in by the fire escape

Hard on the heels of the 90th birthday of Nicholas Parsons (10 October) comes the 65th birthday of the Prince of Wales (14 November). Neither is due for retirement any day soon. Indeed, I suspect retirement would be the death of the long-serving host of Radio 4’s Just A Minute. The Duchess of Cornwall listens to his programme, I know. Perhaps her husband does too. Either way, Parsons is a perfect role model for Prince Charles. Nicholas is young at heart, unfailingly charming and wholly committed to the strange lot that fate has accorded him. He has been hosting Just A Minute for 46 years and not missed a single recording.

The Spectator

We are not ‘tired of war’. We are tired of lack of leadership to win one

One remarkable fact of recent years is that even as the veterans of the first world war have died and as those who served in the second world war have headed through their eighties and beyond, the memory of the 20th century’s two most devastating wars has continued to be honoured with thoughtfulness and devotion. The idea of commemorating those who defended and saved this country has lost none of its potency. This year, as we head towards the 100th anniversary of the start of what was meant to be the war to end all wars, there are more British poppies in evidence than ever. Our part in the Allied

Doc

2138: Hundred centimes

The unclued lights, across and down respectively, are of a kind, all verifiable in Chambers.   Across   4 Single instruction on small firm’s photo visible to the naked eye (11) 11 Accidental but obvious choice (7) 12 Hard-hitting county fellow (6) 13 Following out, disturbed – get angry about it (9) 14 Drain away from church next to grass (5) 16 Speech from Republican lacking colour outwardly (5) 19 Impolite relative cut out 1/6 (7) 23 Crime writer’s good classification (7) 24 Crazy about knock out (4) 25 Cover could be coat. Yes! (7, two words) 31 Wait till offer finally came (4) 32 Pining entellus monkey embraces love

Doc

To 2135: Strange

The unclued lights are CONDUCTORS (SARGENT is an anagram of the title STRANGE).   First prize Roderick Rhodes, Goldsborough, North Yorks Runners-up Ian Dempsey, Califon, New Jersey; Michael Ferguson, Berlin

Lloyd Evans Lloyd Evans

Spies’ evidence sketch: Greek weddings and theatrical nonsense

The nation was agog today as Britain’s spymasters were summoned to parliament. The heads of MI5 and MI6, along with the boss of GCHQ, were grilled about the ethics and practice of counter-terrorism. It was a 2 pm kick-off but the session got underway at 2.02 pm in real time. A tag on the TV feed said, ‘Two minute delay’. The idea was to prevent the masters of international espionage from blurting out vital secrets on live television. Theatrical nonsense, of course. But it added a frisson of Cold War glamour to proceedings. And it gave a lift to the ratings which were already enjoying a welcome boost thanks to

Ed West Ed West

My idea for a new date in the calendar – Hate Speech Day

I know we’re inundated with ‘raising awareness’ days these days when we’re supposed to wear a bracelet or grow facial hair, but I’ve got a great idea for a new one – Hate Speech Day. It occurred to me while reading this Atlantic piece about gay rights by Jonathan Rauch in which the author came out with a brilliant sentence explaining how liberal societies should work. ‘The best society for minorities is not the society that protects minorities from speech but the one that protects speech from minorities (and from majorities, too).’ Exactement! The best route towards maximum freedom, peace and happiness is through open debate, and that requires that

Steerpike Steerpike

Ed’s love for Bill de Blasio runs deep

The court of Ed has a new hero. Francois Hollande, who was credited with ‘turning the tide’ of austerity by taking a ‘different way forward’, has been usurped by Bill de Blasio, the Democrat Mayor-elect of New York, who Team Ed credit with a ‘different kind’ of politics. Ed’s greybeard Lord Wood has penned a gushing paean to de Blasio in today’s Telegraph. Wood applauds de Blasio’s ‘Disraelian theme: “One New York, Rising Together”’. Mr S can’t see all that much of Disraeli in de Blasio’s mundane slogan — the word ‘one’ seems to have assumed mythic proportions in the minds of Ed’s counsellors. Then again, it’s Lord Wood’s business to talk

Sebastian Payne

The View from 22 podcast: Ab Fab Britain, war on cycling and devolution dangers

Are young people in Britain now duller than their parents? On this week’s View from 22 podcast, Spectator editor Fraser Nelson discusses why Britain is now full of young puritans, compared to the Absolutely Fabulous generation who are living life to the full. Do pensioners buy more alcohol than young folk? Are those attending university no longer interested in experimenting like their elders did? Brendan O’Neill from Spiked Online and The Times‘ Kaya Burgess also debate whether it’s time for a war on cyclists. Are we listening too much to pious, self-righteous cycling campaigners? Or are they just working to ensure our roads are safe for all users? And is

Sophia Waugh

Young people aren’t driven by fun, but by fear

Family legend has it that when I arrived in Durham, a fresh-faced ingénue from deepest Somerset, I called home. ‘This is the life,’ I said, after a bare 24 hours in the frozen north, and they hardly heard from me again. I would have expected my first daughter to have a similar experience, but by the time she set off for university I had already learned how very different the new generation is from ours. I arrived from a girls’ grammar school, having chosen a university as far from my (much-loved) home as I feasibly could, determined to have Fun. I threw myself into the whole thing. I stayed up

Tiggy Salt

Notes on…Leaf-peeping in Gloucestershire

Don’t delay — this is the year to visit the National Arboretum. Thanks to the long hours of sunlight we had this summer, followed by the cooler and shorter days of recent weeks, this autumn is going to be one to remember. Fruit, hops, hips and nuts hang heavy on the bough, but there is still much to look forward to. Reserves of the green pigment chlorophyll in our deciduous trees and shrubs have been exhausted, allowing the hidden yellow pigments of xanthophyll and the orange of betacarotene to come to the fore. Although always present in the leaves, they are masked by the overriding green of the chlorophyll which

Fraser Nelson Fraser Nelson

Boozy, druggy adults. Sober, serious kids. Welcome to Ab Fab Britain

Twenty-one years ago this week a sitcom arrived on British television involving three characters so improbable that they held the nation in thrall. It had started as a French and Saunders comedy sketch about a hedonistic ‘modern’ mother (Eddy) and her appalled, straight-laced daughter (Saffy). To spin this out into a series, Jennifer Saunders added Joanna Lumley as a hard-nosed, hard-drinking best friend (Patsy) and two essential props: Bollinger champagne (Bolly) and Stolichnaya vodka (Stolly). Absolutely Fabulous was born. It was never intended as a piece of social commentary — yet it has turned out to be bizarrely prophetic. Over the past two decades, Britain has steadily witnessed precisely the

Bruce Anderson

House sherry

The Speaker was in trouble. I do not refer to Michael Martin or John Bercow, the two worst Speakers in living memory, who have fallen well beneath mere trouble, into contempt. This was Jack Weatherill, a decent man and a decent Speaker, if not a great one. Even so, his toenail clippings would have made a better Speaker than either of the afore-mentioned. But Speaker Weatherill had committed an offence of which we have all been guilty at some time or another. He had rewritten history; he had retold an anecdote to put himself in a better light. Unfortunately for him, this involved putting Norman Tebbit in a worse light.

Rory Sutherland Rory Sutherland

Rory Sutherland: How to improve journey times without HS2

I am still waiting for someone to refute my argument that it would be possible to reduce the journey time between London and Manchester or Birmingham for many rail passengers by between 20 and 40 minutes — and to improve effective capacity — at about 0.001 per cent of the cost of HS2. This would be done simply using software, not hardware. Last Thursday I travelled to Manchester to give a talk in the afternoon. The journeys up and back were flawless. But they did take 40 minutes longer than necessary — in both directions. Why? A month before, once I knew that I had to travel to Manchester, I did what every

Nick Cohen Nick Cohen

Why can’t we admit we’re scared of Islamism?

Firoozeh Bazrafkan is frightened of nothing. Five foot tall, 31 years old, and so thin you think a puff of wind could blow her away, she still has the courage to be a truly radical artist and challenge those who might hurt her. She fights for women’s rights and intellectual freedom, and her background means her fight has to be directed against radical Islam. As a Danish citizen, she saw journalists go into hiding and mobs attack her country’s embassies just because Jyllands-Posten published cartoons of Muhammad that were so tame you could hardly call them ‘satirical’. Bazrafkan is also the daughter of an Iranian family, and the Islamic Republic’s