Mary Killen Mary Killen

Your Problems Solved | 9 October 2004

Etiquette advice from The Spectator's Miss Manners

issue 09 October 2004

Dear Mary…

Q. My problem concerns the wording of an invitation. My husband will be 50 years old in January and we are giving a party for about 300 people. Without wishing to seem ungrateful, he actually is the man who has everything, and he dreads being given hundreds of new things he doesn’t want, to say nothing of having to write hundreds of thank-you letters for them. Yet we both think there is something a bit killjoy about having ‘No Presents’ on an invitation. What is the most tactful wording, Mary? Or should I let people bring the presents and just divide them between our staff later?
Name withheld, Stockbridge, Hampshire

A. Logical though it may seem to discourage waste, there is still something depressing about seeing the words ‘No Presents’ on a party invitation. They strike the wrong note.

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