Your problems solved | 9 June 2016

Q. When going out to dinner I’ve found some people will send everyone a list of the other guests so we can avoid the ‘What do you do?’ questions. I’ve now taken to doing it myself. I like this approach. However, when I asked a friend to tell me who my fellow guests would be at her dinner party, she became very angry and refused. As a result I missed talking to someone I really wanted to meet until we were putting out coats on to go. Is it very naff to provide pre-lists?
J.T., London W11

All guests would much rather know who else is coming, what they do and what the gossip is — but to circulate an advance list is a bit unsubtle and smacks of networking. Instead you can deliver the data chattily by tricking your guests into probing you about who will be present. Ring them up on the pretext of giving, for example, parking advice, to say their dogs will be welcome, or to enquire whether any real or imaginary food allergies are at play.