Mary Killen Mary Killen

Your Problems Solved | 9 April 2005

Etiquette advice from The Spectator's Miss Manners

issue 09 April 2005

Dear Mary…

A number of correspondents wrote in regarding the problem (26 March) of what to call the unmarried mother of one’s son’s child. Here is a selection.

Q. Oh Mary, I love it when you go all family values! Yes, yes, you are so right to stop the rot! Partners forsooth! Even worse are married couples where the husband refers to his ‘wife-companion’. Well, that’s rather touching but still icky. Anyway, mischievously, may I suggest that the word ought to be pronounced as if French, i.e., imprégnée? That would give it a little style. ‘This is Carlotta, Nevil’s dear imprégnée!’

And practically, may I suggest: ‘This is the mother/father of my grandchild?’ There’s a little hauteur in that, and a little humour and everyone realises why one is saying it, presumably.
B.T., Montana, USA

A. Thank you for making these valued points.

Q.

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