Mary Killen Mary Killen

Your Problems Solved | 5 March 2005

Etiquette advice from The Spectator's Miss Manners

issue 05 March 2005

Dear Mary…

Q. My teenage daughter’s lifelong friend has over the years developed the most unfortunate strain of body odour, obviously unbeknown to her. It has become increasingly unbearable recently and presumably in her earlier years was either masked in infant fumes or more tolerable. Apparently the problem is widely discussed at school but no one has a solution, mainly because of the ponger’s genial nature and because of the inherent risk to the messenger. This friendship is important to my daughter, even at great risk to our olfactory nerves, but then so is our need to reduce the widespread use of pungent aerosol spray. Can you propose a resolution?
Name withheld, Belgravia, London

A. Invite the offender to stay the night in your home. Brief your daughter that you have a scheme in mind. As the two girls arrive, announce that your hot-water supply is temporarily out of order and ask them not even to try the taps due to possible difficulties with airlocks.

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