Dear Mary…
Q. For my husband and me the racing world has always been a source of Elysian happiness and this weekend we are taking our children to Newmarket races. There a problem looms. Our trainer enjoys heroic status in our household and our children have reached the age where they are beginning to participate in adult conversation. Although we do not allow our own standards to slip, we are worried they may be confused by our apparent acceptance of our trainer’s barrack-room vernacular. How can we explain this to the children?
S.T., Chirton, Wiltshire
A. Prepare them for this cultural anomaly by screening a couple of documentaries from the Discovery channel of the sort which show, for example, that wooden lip-plates are considered attractive in some tribal societies, while in others mooning is seen as a compliment. You can then draw parallels with the racing world which, you can quite accurately inform them, is itself a self-contained tribal society where Tourette’s syndrome-style talk is the accepted form of dialogue.
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