Mary Killen Mary Killen

Your Problems Solved | 3 September 2005

Etiquette advice from The Spectator's Miss Manners

issue 03 September 2005

Dear Mary…

Q. We were recently married and a number of people who had informed us that they were coming failed to appear on the day. Besides the disappointment, our catering was not cheap and these no-shows cost us a considerable sum. We had to be tough with numbers, and we had a few people who were slightly hurt not to have been invited. We could have used the places for them. Our question is this: should we chastise the people who failed to appear? If so, how?
M. & K.M., Cairns, Queensland, Australia

A. Twenty years ago, had RSVP’d wedding guests failed to materialise, one would have expected the worst — a car crash, serious illness, a family death…. Today you can assume that they either had better invitations at the last minute or just ran out of energy on the day of your wedding.

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