Q. We live in a small flat and when we have visitors for a weekend or a few days we arrange for them to sleep in a spacious bedroom made available by a neighbour, who is also a good friend. She charges only a nominal amount, which so far we have preferred not to mention to our guests. But because it is at least partly a commercial arrangement she finds herself embarrassed by the gifts left her by grateful visitors. And then come the cards or letters, and even Christmas cards. How can we make it clear to our visitors that they need not overdo the effusions of gratitude — without their feeling mean-spirited and obliged to contribute, and without making ourselves look too grandly generous? I would be grateful for your advice.
J.D., Frankfurt am Main
A. Just say, ‘Our neighbour feels she owes us a small favour and she wants to pay us back by having you to stay.’
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