Mary Killen Mary Killen

Your Problems Solved | 29 March 2003

Etiquette advice from The Spectator's Miss Manners

issue 29 March 2003

Dear Mary…

Q. At a party the other day a friend of mine took a canapZ off a loaded plate that was being carried by someone she thought was one of the catering staff, only to realise, on account of the woman’s astonished look, that she was a guest and the plate a private one, as it were. What should my friend have said?
L.B., London W8

A. The normal response from the woman carrying the plate would have been to laugh pleasantly at the mistake and use it as an opening gambit in conversation. However, since the woman’s body language was clearly giving off waitress signals, she might well have been suffering from low self-esteem, a condition which would only have been compounded by your friend’s error. There is nothing wrong with waitresses – indeed, many glamorous youths work for catering agencies, even run their own, these days.

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