Q. For the past two New Year’s Eves we have ducked an annual party given by some acquaintances, who are very nice although the husband is a bore. His wife has recently been unwell and they have decided to corral us New Year refuseniks for a curry supper, date to be confirmed when all are available. We do not want to go, but would hate to upset the wife. Is there any way to avoid going convincingly, other than last-minute flu or a fictitious crisis?
—J.M., London SW3
A. Compromise with an enthusiastic call to the couple inviting them to you for drinks à quatre. Explain that you would love to see them but your diary is offering no windows for the curry, and you don’t want to hold up the other refuseniks. Having set the date for the drinks, pre-empt any expectation of dinner by adding ‘Come at six. Then we can have a full 90 minutes before we have to go out at 7.30.’
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