Q. How does one go about getting invited to a wedding? Two friends of mine from university, who I have not managed to stay in touch with since we left three years ago, are getting married this summer, and I would very much like to go to their wedding but, understandably, have not been invited. The thing is, I knew them both separately, and was there when they first met each other, so it would feel appropriate to be at the wedding as well! And it would be lovely to see them. Any ideas? — Y.O., by email
A. A two-pronged attack should be used. Send an email, ideally enclosing early pictures of the couple together. Say ‘I’ve always been useless at staying in touch with my friends (I need to get married myself so I have someone to organise me) but I just wanted to tell you how moved I was to hear your news.’ Meanwhile, use a third party to confide in the couple that you hope to be invited. There is nothing wrong with fishing for an invitation — it is a compliment. If they liked you in the past they still will — especially when they learn that uselessness, not rejection, was behind your failure to keep up with them.
Q. How would you react when confronted with a naked older lady in the changing area at the council swimming pool using a file on the hard skin of her feet in front of the other ladies? The resulting snowstorm of keratin lies on the floor where other people may be walking in their bare feet.
— Name and address withheld
A. You might enquire kindly ‘Can I help you? Would you like me to go and ask someone for a dustpan and brush?’
Q.
Comments
Join the debate for just £1 a month
Be part of the conversation with other Spectator readers by getting your first three months for £3.
UNLOCK ACCESS Just £1 a monthAlready a subscriber? Log in