Q. My husband and I have been invited to the birthday party of a distinguished public figure with whom we have had a discreet, or, at least unboasted of, relationship over many years. The invitation is displayed on the dresser in our kitchen. Recently a woman visitor to our house saw the invitation and cried: ‘Wow! How did you two get invited to that?’
Mary, I felt her astonishment was not only maladroit but also passive aggressive. How should I have replied to her veiled insult?
— Name and address withheld
A. You might have responded: ‘Oh dear. I’m sorry. Have you not been invited? The only reason we’ve been is they’re trying to include lots of unglamorous worthies as an anti-elitist thing. So many people have been asked, I thought you might have made the cut.
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