Dear Mary…
Q. My wife and I have been blessed with the arrival of a delightful baby boy. We have been inundated with soft toys from doting family and friends. We would like to do a cull and send many off to charities but don’t wish to offend the original donors, who may notice the absence of their expensive gift when next they visit. What do you suggest?
Q.R.F., Maitland, NSW
A. Cuddly toys nearly always need to be culled, since today most houses with children have an excess. Too many love objects can be a dangerous thing in the impressionable early years of life, as they will breed a Hugh Hefner-style bad attitude towards love and loyalty. Three toy love objects are quite enough for any child. However, to avoid hurting the feelings of the well-intentioned donors you should first take a photograph of each of the toys to be dispatched to a charity. You do not need to keep the toy to remind yourselves of the kindness of your friend’s gesture. When the donors come round and inquire how their toy went down, you can produce the photo out of the child’s bedside drawer and say, quite honestly, ‘I’m not sure where it is at the moment but look at this – there’s even a photo of it in the bedside drawer.’
Q. I am the male partner in what is now known as a reconstructed family. There are two children with an absent father who comes from a family where table manners are not deemed to be important. The children are delightful and well-mannered but the daughter seems to have been rather influenced by her alternate weekends at her father’s home. Although I pretend to be open-minded about table manners, I know in my heart of hearts that using the pen grip with a knife may well be a social obstacle in the future.
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