Dear Mary…
Q. With reference to the problem of middle-aged women clad in low-slung jeans with thongs akimbo (25 June), perhaps a poem to cure ‘sartorial lapses’ might be more effective?
Published by Ogden Nash in 1931 when he was looking at something very different. A translation into German is needed in this area where most of the women behind their shopping trolleys are hugely pear-shaped — and the first sighting of a G-string last week attracted a long queue at the check-out.Sure, deck your lower limbs in pants:Yours are the limbs, my sweeting.You look divine as you advance —Have you seen yourself retreating?
M.L., Neustadt/Haardt, Germany
A. Thank you. The Ogden Nash reminder is welcomed. Perhaps restaurants and pubs in the worst-affected areas could take a lead by banning thong-wearers from their premises.
Q. Please help me. I am being driven mad by my neighbours.
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