Q. How can you tactfully tell someone that the large skin tag or blob they have grown in the centre of their forehead is disfiguring and should be removed? The person involved is a dear cousin who spends all her time do-gooding and thinking of others and is totally unvain. Her boyfriend, who should be the one to tell her, is one of those half-baked hippie types and would consider himself above commenting on anything so transient as ‘appearance’. No doubt he reassures her if she asks whether she should have it removed, but it is definitely spoiling her looks.
— Name withheld, Ludlow
A. Next time you see your cousin gasp in astonishment as though you have just noticed the blob and tell the white lie that by coincidence you have just had an almost identical blob removed from the back of your neck. Make a fuss about how identical your own blob was and how these blobs must run in the family. Do this as an excuse to warm to your theme so you can inform your cousin that they can be painlessly removed in a trice by GPs, with no need to even go to Harley Street. She’s bound to ask why you bothered if it was on the back of your neck, at which point you can answer, ‘Oh I did it for other people, not for myself. I know that lots of people think they look really revolting. You should definitely have it done for the sake of others. Shall I drive you to the surgery tomorrow to give moral support?’
Q. May I pass on a tip to readers who might easily make the same common mistake I have just made? Six of us were on the train from Glasgow, returning from a week’s holiday in a shared house in Mull.
Comments
Join the debate for just £1 a month
Be part of the conversation with other Spectator readers by getting your first three months for £3.
UNLOCK ACCESS Just £1 a monthAlready a subscriber? Log in