Dear Mary…
Q. I am recovering in hospital from a serious car accident in which – among other things – I cracked my spine. I have been overwhelmed by the messages of sympathy and concern from friends, colleagues and acquaintances alike. However, one couple, whom I had long regarded as ‘friends’, have not so much as murmured, although they were among the first to learn of the bad news (my wife was also injured to a lesser extent). I am afraid, despite almost 20 years’ friendship, that my attitude towards them will never be the same. How should I play this in future?
P.R., Berlin
A. After 20 years of friendship you should be able to judge whether the couple are so egotistical that it has not occurred to them to sympathise. You might also be aware of whether they have always disapproved of your driving – indeed, they may feel they have narrowly escaped death at your hands on many occasions.
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