Mary Killen Mary Killen

Your Problems Solved | 18 September 2004

Etiquette advice from The Spectator's Miss Manners

issue 18 September 2004

Dear Mary…

Q. Interrogatives like ‘Are you seeing anyone?’ are gauche and unhelpful. Likewise ‘What does your partner do?’ or, to a third party, ‘Is your friend attached?’ When, increasingly, the lack of a ring signifies nothing, even among the more mature, perhaps, Mary, you might offer a discreet means of establishing a person’s status.
I.S.W., Inverclyde

A. You can trick people into revealing their romantic status by asking if they play tennis or bridge. If they reply in the affirmative, say ‘Oh great — do you have a partner who plays too?’ If they say no, say, ‘Oh, what a shame. You don’t have a partner, as they say, who likes playing?’ Having ascertained their status you can then pretend you were only inquiring on behalf of a friend who is always on the lookout for people to play with.

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