Mary Killen Mary Killen

Your Problems Solved | 17 September 2005

Etiquette advice from The Spectator's Miss Manners

issue 17 September 2005

Q. I sympathise with B.M.F. (20 August). At a recent Proms concert, a superb performance of ‘Gerontius’ was ruined by a middle-aged woman continually fanning herself with her programme. It was not a hot night, and she was the only person in the hall doing so. She was very rude when someone tried to approach her about it in the interval. What do you suggest, Mary?
J.McC., London W8

A. In these situations it is always easier to use a third person as a human buffer than to deal directly with a miscreant who may be defensive. You could have whispered to one of the people sitting next to the fanner ,‘Excuse me, could you possibly ask your friend to stop fanning? Everyone in the rows behind is finding it very distracting.’ The group may well be abusive, or they may be responsive to the uncomfortable thought of an angry mob behind them.

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