Dear Mary…
Q. What advice can you give to a boy of 16 (my brother) who has not been out with a girl before? He fancies one at his school but although I have told him he is cool he does not have the nerve to ask her out. He is almost more worried about her saying yes than no. He says he wouldn’t know where to take her or what to say.
D.C., London W6
A. Rather than asking her out, your brother should ask her to help him dye his hair. Girls cannot resist the chance to conduct a cosmetic experiment, and since the procedure is soothing for both parties a relaxed intimacy will ensue. More to the point, the inevitable choice of venue — his house or hers — is both budget- and parent-friendly.
Q. Recently I went to a large dinner party given by a man I have no reason to suppose is mean; indeed, rather the opposite. The first course was lamb and to my surprise a waitress went round our table pouring out red wine for the men only. I called out to her, thinking she’d forgotten me by mistake, but she ignored me. A minute later a second waitress came in and poured out red wine for the women. Later the man on my right asked if I would like some more wine but said, ‘Finish that cat’s piss in your glass first.’ He then poured out wine for me from the bottle in front of him. I am no wine buff but could tell at once that this was infinitely superior. I am flabbergasted by our host’s behaviour. Can you throw any light on it?
Name and address withheld
A. Yes, I believe I can.
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