Dear Mary..
Q. I have a very dear friend who lives in increasingly bohemian circumstances in the country. He and his wife have repeatedly asked us to stay with them on one of our visits to England. The fact of the matter is that their standards of domestic hygiene are not particularly high. Suffice it to say that after using their lavatory a couple of years ago my wife went into something approaching a catatonic trance and was unable to speak for three days. So far we have managed to conjure up sufficient excuses to justify our absence, but it is becoming increasingly obvious that we are deliberately avoiding their hospitality. Mary, what can we do?
Name and address withheld
A. Visitors to England do tend to condemn our general standards of hygiene. However, it is a mistake to be overtly squeamish about these matters since exposure to germs helps to build up resistance, as Professor John Bayley would no doubt testify.
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