From Edward McMillan-Scott, European Parliament vice-president
Q. The problem of the universal greeting has become an obsession. As you may imagine, the European Parliament is a meeting place for people from all the EU’s 27 countries to those from Asia, America and all the continents. So from Borat-style hugs, to Muslim delicacy about human contact, to Chinese codes of kowtow or Indian supplicant anjali, I am daily confronted by the need for a new encounter technique. Moreover, the risk of passing on diseases like H5N1 (and, for British visitors, MRSA) demands a new European etiquette. Can you help, Mary?
A. I understand some Euro MPs have discussed using the informal American right hand flipped up (the Native American ‘How!’), obviously falling short of its Hitlerian rigidity, but this will not wash. Today’s constant television presence means that whenever leaders are seen meeting in a public place they must pretend to be very, very effusive. When the number one American does not favour the American salute when meeting Palestinians and Israelis, but goes in for hugging them instead, there is no room for a new etiquette of avoidance for others. Yet for the health-conscious, hugging is, paradoxically, an excellent technique. You can simulate enthusiasm while, in reality, handling only the clothing of the huggee rather than the flesh.
From Selina Blow, London SW1
Q. I wondered if you could help me with the following concern. One of our past customers has purchased a midnight-blue bouclé ‘Barbarella coat’, a very striking piece, with funnel collar, a mix between Jane Fonda in Barbarella and Audrey Hepburn in Sabrina. In payment she split it between three various financial sources (housekeeping account/gardening account/Girl Guide contributions), which she traditionally does. Furthermore she has clearly asked the sales staff, if her husband came in, not to say she had been in.
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