Dear Mary…
Q. On doctor’s orders, I’ve recently had to lay off some of my favourite foods – bread, shepherd’s pie, spaghetti carbonara, etc. Would it be polite to refuse a dinner invitation, when I know that the food served won’t agree with me, especially as it’s to a celebratory party for an old friend I used to run around with, who is shortly to come out of prison?
Worried, address withheld
A. Invitations to the party you mention are highly sought after, for a number of reasons. There is no need for you to refuse yours since, given that the new social equation is self-disciplined/neurotic equals A-list, you can guarantee that a good third of your fellow guests will be following weirdo exclusion diets. You can bond with these others as you all brazenly eat just the toppings and the salad and flatter yourselves as you do so by discussing the health advantages.
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