Q. We were about to send off to the printers the invitation for our son’s wedding (we agreed to do this bit) but now the prospective in-laws are asking for the use of the word ‘with’, as in ‘You are invited to the marriage of Lady X with Mr Y’. We have noticed that ‘with’ is used in the marriage invitation of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle and understand that it conveys the implication that one party (the first named) is socially superior to the other. What should we think?
— Name and address withheld
A. My most highly placed observer declares that ‘This is a highly royal usage which it would be common for a commoner to imitate.’ If you are being rushed to printing, you could make the tactful request that you retain the more conventional ‘to’ by claiming that a much-loved ancestor of yours, a stickler for traditional form, always insisted on ‘to’ rather than ‘with’.
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