Mary Killen Mary Killen

Your problems solved | 11 October 2003

Etiquette advice from The Spectator's Miss Manners

issue 11 October 2003

Dear Mary…

Q. In their light-headed enthusiasm, some of the disciples of the late Dr Atkins seem to have lost their social judgment as well as their weight. Last week, whilst dabbing at her crocodile tears on having to discard so many of her wonderful clothes, a very good friend offered me first choice. Unusually for me I was stricken dumb. Mary, how should I have responded?
A.C., Galway

A. If you were feeling chippy you could have replied, ‘Poor you. Shouldn’t you keep them for when you put it all back on again as you inevitably will?’ But I see no call for chippiness. Unless your friend is suffering from projected body dysmorphia, there is no reason for her to think you are fatter than you actually are. Either you are still carrying the same amount of bulk as she has shed, or you are taller than her and therefore take the same dress size without necessarily being fatter.

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