Q. We live in a tiny village in the Drakensberg range of South Africa. The social life is frenetic, but mores are rigidly observed, especially one which dictates that invitations to a meal require reciprocity in a relatively short time. Our problem is that some close friends seem to have forgotten (we are, after all, mostly in retirement mode) that it is now their turn to entertain, and they haven’t invited us to dine with them for several months, long past the norm. Clearly we cannot discuss this with them, and we are unwilling to ‘double up’, so to speak, since this will not solve the impasse. This situation is not unique to us, and therefore your reply will be helpful to many members of our social circle.
J.D., Wakkerstroom, South Africa
A. The clear solution is that another member of your social circle should intervene. Let us imagine that you are the Devlins, and giving a dinner on the 20th to which you have invited John and Mary Brown.
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