Mary Killen Mary Killen

Your Problems Solved | 1 May 2004

Etiquette advice from The Spectator's Miss Manners

issue 01 May 2004

Dear Mary…

Q. My parents, sister and in-laws are all devout Roman Catholics. I myself was raised a Catholic but have been an atheist for over 20 years, a fact of which all my family are aware. Naturally our family life involves attending numerous RC church services (weddings, baptisms, funerals). Joining in with the religious actions (genuflecting, kneeling to pray, taking communion, making the sign of the cross and so on) makes me feel bogus and uncomfortably self-conscious. However, I worry that not joining in would be seen as an ostentatious rejection of beliefs which are dear to people I love. How can I politely attend these Roman Catholic

religious services without taking part in them? Thank you for your help.
Name and address withheld

A. There are worse sins than hypocrisy and there is a fine line between hypocrisy and

priggishness.

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