You may smirk, but Ainol will change the world

I once had an idea that it might be fun to write a technology column. What Jeremy Clarkson did with cars, I thought, and Giles Coren and A.A. Gill do with restaurants, I could do with… phones and stuff. It could be one of those launchpad-type columns, I thought, where you don’t really write about the stuff you’re supposed to be writing about at all, but invariably end up writing about yourself. I do love them.

Where was I? Oh yeah. Technology. I tried it for a couple of weeks, online. I reckon I probably could have invented a new genre, if I’d stuck at it, but I wasn’t that sorry when the project faded away. The problem was, once you’ve talked about the colour of a thing, and how many buttons it’s got, there usually isn’t anywhere else to go. ‘You know the way your BlackBerry isn’t quite solid enough to be used to beat a man to death?’ I was writing even before I’d finished the first article.