Today’s European election is not just a matter of deciding who gets to represent my made-up region in Brussels’ toy town parliament. It is a celebration of our common heritage as a people, and our proud record of centuries of killing each other in futile wars and thinking up political schemes that never work.
Some proud Europeans have described their own ideas about what marks us out as Europeans. Here are mine:
1). You work to live, not live to work, and after 30 years of 30 hour-weeks you get to retire for another 27 years. And you get angry when people suggest that this insane system will leave your grandchildren impoverished.
2). You don’t believe in God, because only yokels and idiots do that, but you hold faith in an all-powerful state that will look after you from cradle to grave.
3).
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