No. 2530: Show me the child
You are invited to submit an extract from the school report of a well-known public figure, past or present (150 words maximum). Entries to ‘Competition 2530’ by 31 January or email lucy@spectator.co.uk.
In Competition No. 2527 you were invited to submit an extract from a Christmas round robin sent by a well-known historical figure.
Dr Hugh de Glanville and Mrs E. Emerk pulled me up on the use of ‘round robin’ to mean a circular letter but my edition of Chambers allows it, as does Wikipedia, which is not everyone’s idea of an authoritative source.
These annual exercises in self-aggrandisement tend to be a nauseating blend of boasts, bad jokes, inappropriate intimacies and trivial details, plus a liberal sprinkling of exclamation marks. They transform their authors, who are perfectly nice for the rest of the year, into self-regarding braggarts or whingeing bores. For all their faults, though, seasonal round robins are hilarious and oddly compelling — and they often have a whiff of desperation that is unintentionally touching.
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