Pacific Rim is a giant monsters v. giant robots film and although written and directed by Guillermo del Toro, who made Pan’s Labyrinth, which was sublime, it’s still just a giant monsters v. giant robots film, and now we have dealt with that, we can move on to The Moo Man.
The Moo Man is not like Pacific Rim. There are no giant monsters seeking to destroy the world, and no giant robots seeking to protect it. There is no CGI, no 3D, no battle scenes, no violently thumping soundtrack, no action — bar a day trip to Eastbourne — and no token woman who is feisty, as is the way with token women when the alternative might mean having to actually give them a fair crack of the whip. There is nothing about The Moo Man that takes the word ‘block’ and puts it anywhere near ‘buster’. It may even be the opposite of Pacific Rim in that, instead of being a big, noisy film with nothing to say, it’s a small, quiet film with quite a lot to say. And although there are humans in the del Toro — they pilot the giant robots from within, which may give you a clue as to what side we are expected to be on — I didn’t care about any of them, whereas I cared a great deal about Ida, who is a cow.
The Moo Man is a documentary by Andy Heathcote, an independent film-maker who spent three years with Steve Hook, who runs a small family dairy farm in Hailsham, East Sussex. Hook’s business is now a boutique business, as he sells unpasteurised milk via farmers’ markets and doorstep deliveries instead of to supermarkets, as supermarkets are only prepared to pay 27p per pint even though a pint costs 34p to produce.

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