Rod Liddle Rod Liddle

Yes, Boris Johnson has fibbed and philandered. But what has he actually done wrong?

issue 30 March 2013

I’m trying to imagine the BBC’s Eddie Mair interviewing Nelson Mandela, the elderly African squirming uncomfortably in his seat as Mair, like one of the late Eugene Terre’Blanche’s famous Dobermans, snarls ever more menacingly, foam dripping from his bared gums.

‘So, in 1961, with several others, you founded a vicious terrorist movement, Spear of the Nation, carried out bombing after bombing and pledged that if these tactics failed you would resort to guerrilla warfare and terrorism…’

Mandela looks askance: ‘Excuse me, I thought this was that programme where you choose records and a book…’

Mair shakes his head, face wreathed in disgust. ‘Pretty nasty piece of work, aren’t you?’ Mandela, evidently confused, says that he would like to take with him Althea and Donna’s late 1970s hit, ‘Uptown Top Ranking’, and can he go now, please?

It isn’t going to happen, of course.

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