Wisdom of the ages: we must keep listening to the elderly

My beloved grandmother died at 90, and my mother at 89, after having Alzheimer’s for 11 years. So I am not rattled by the old; I find their memory lapses challenging rather than frightening. (If I were the full-time carer of an elderly husband, it might be another matter. One woman described it as being strangled slowly by a python.)

I recently visited 96-year-old Sir Peregrine Worsthorne, former columnist, journalist and editor of the Sunday Telegraph, at his house in Bucks. In May, his wife (writer Lucinda Lambton) and a kind Croatian carer were present. This time, the two of us were alone for three hours. Perhaps this made it easier for Perry, and me, to focus.

I brought up key figures from his past. When I mentioned the deceased Telegraph writer Colin Welch, Perry responded: ‘Yes, we were great friends. We were at school together. We went into the army together. We were in a show together. His son came here a few days ago. He comes very often.’ (I checked with Welch’s daughter Frances and she confirmed all this; her brother Nick visits frequently.)

He could recall some incidents with clarity. ‘Do you remember going to Italy, you and me?’ he asked, with a laugh. Yes, we had driven together from Pisa airport to his father-in-law’s house. ‘I remember it all very clearly!’ he declared.