Winners and losers

My favourite racecourse-bar story this year involved a towel-clad jockey who had enjoyed his game of golf so much that in the shower room he demonstrated the iron shot that had gained him an eagle. Hearing a clunk behind him he discovered that his backswing had connected forcibly with a dwarf, who was lying prone. ‘Oh, my God,’ he said, ‘I’m so sorry. How are you?’ ‘I’m not happy. I’m definitely not happy,’ said his groaning victim. ‘Oh, in that case which one are you?’ inquired our golfing friend, whose parents had clearly brought him up on Snow White.

Hopefully followers of this column are a little more chuffed than the golfing victim. As the Flat season closed, our Twelve to Follow showed a decent profit. On more than half the 41 occasions on which they graced a racecourse, they finished in the frame with 12 first places, four seconds and six thirds.