Wiltons wonderland

I have agonised over this Christmas review. I ate the Christmas lunch at Harveys Nichols 5th Floor Restaurant, Knightsbridge, next to a roof garden sponsored by Nutella chocolate spread. (The review of that restaurant is 17 words long: don’t go there, especially if you like Nutella chocolate spread, because it will ruin it for you.) The stunt critic dies hard in any writer, for it is easy work laughing at roof gardens. I considered eating in a plastic igloo — an igloo that is not an igloo, but a tent — by Tower Bridge. I even considered visiting whichever Winter Wonderland (‘Blunderland’) that the Daily Mail — the arbiter of such things — considered the worst Wonderland (‘Blunderland’) of 2016, which was in Bakewell, Derbyshire: ‘Visitors to a Christmas market described it as a “shambles”, saying they were greeted with gridlocked traffic, a boggy field and a two-hour wait to see Santa — who didn’t even have a grotto.