Will the US Embassy’s haggis virgin be tempted to lift the offal ban?

It was the culmination of an elaborate lobbying operation. The scene was set, the piper poised and the whisky flowing. As the Haggis was piped in to Boisdale on Bishopgate last night for the launch of the ‘Campaign to Overturn the US Haggis Ban’, all eyes were on Mr Stan Phillips, the Councillor for Agricultural Affairs from the US Embassy; a haggis virgin.

The suave, bespectacled gentleman let his cool demeanour slip ever so slightly as he was told ‘you’re about to put an illegal substance in your mouth’.

As his fork cut through the offaly oats a hush fell upon the room, the wind draining from the pipes. ‘Yeah…’ came an intrepid response, ‘yeah, it’s alright.’ Cue cheers and rejoicing – the ambassador had been spoilt. The pipes struck back up, tables were banged and the Macallan was poured.

Though Mr S suspects Mr Phillips was putting on a brave face. When he later asked the polite American when he would next be tucking into haggis, the reply was hardly gushing: ‘Well I’m here on a three year posting, so I guess I will definitely eat it at least two more times…’

The fight to ban the ban continues…

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