The worst entry for this year’s Euro-vision song contest was that vast cater-wauling aboriginal. I can’t remember her name, only that her performance convinced me still further that Australia might not, technically, be a part of Europe. But then I was a little worried by the winner too. The song ‘Toy’, sung by Israel’s Netta Barzilai, was easily the most musically imaginative in the contest and so probably deserved its victory. But the lyrics were the usual deluded, self-aggrandising victimhood rot. ‘I am a beautiful creature,’ she sang, despite fairly compelling evidence to the contrary, right there in front of our eyes. An energetic and likeable performer she may be, but I suspect we have unleashed a monster on the world, like that lachrymose bearded freak who won for Austria a few years back and then wouldn’t shut up for ages.
After the contest, Netta — who had nothing to do with the writing of the song — gibbered about ‘diversity’ in the manner of a Chatty Cathy doll programmed by the Guardian’s editorial board.
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