Why the Cass report won’t change a thing

The Liberal Democrat candidate in the Middlesbrough South and East Cleveland constituency recently released a video clip of herself sitting in a car and saying just the following: ‘As a Liberal Democrat, I believe that women can have a penis.’ When I’m feeling depressed or under the weather, I play this clip to myself over and over and it never fails to put me in a better frame of mind. It is less the bovine stupidity of the message that amuses than the fact that Jemma Joy – yes, yes, I know – felt the need to recite it, as if there were people out there determined to believe that she thought that women couldn’t have penises and might victimise her for this heresy.

I have been tempted to ask Jemma how many penises women could have and would it be OK if they were not located in the usual place but perhaps dangled usefully from each knee – and when in a
priapic state could be deployed as a makeshift fork-lift truck.