Why is ‘loo’ slang? Because Simon Heffer says so!

Did Simon Heffer’s new book come out on St George’s Day? If not, it probably should have done. If we ever needed someone to defend what’s left of our national culture from the massed armies of lefties, foreigners, proles, riff-raff, illiterates, young people, thin people and David Cameron, he would be our man. For three decades he has fought the good fight, a squat colossus of unquenchable fury, his red hair forever threatening to burst into flames, just because it can. He is one of the marvels of the age and, I now discover to my shock, exactly four days younger then me. We Cancerians have to stick together — although my moon is in Aries and his is in Taurus, which I’m told makes all the difference.

Recently, then, young Simon has turned the white heat of his attention to the English language. Strictly English (2010) started life as a series of emails sent to Telegraph staffers who kept writing ‘emend’ when they meant ‘amend’ and foozling their subjunctives.