Why I couldn’t wait to buy a Twitter blue tick

I’ve just given Elon Musk $8 a month to get a blue tick by my name on Twitter. The fact I haven’t been able to secure one of these ticks on merit like so many other nonentities has been a source of near-constant irritation for the past half decade, particularly given how much time I spend on the site.

My assumption had been that a Spectator-reading Twitter employee would eventually accept my brilliance – perhaps after reading something rude I’d written about Meghan Markle – and press the required button to make it happen. But when I finally accepted this wasn’t likely, about two years ago, I decided to take matters into my own hands.

I began filling out the website’s online verification request form. I’ve applied about a dozen times – close to the maximum amount, I believe, given there are limits on how soon you can reapply. In each instance, I cited my status as a freelance journalist – one of the stipulated criteria for verification – and, as requested, provided links to pieces I’d recently had published.