Why don’t we put warnings on smartphones?

On a recent trip to Sainsbury’s, I was perplexed to find nothing where it should be. I’m used to things being switched about to a small extent. It can even be quite fun to track down rice pudding where the clingfilm used to be and the clingfilm where the baked beans once were. But this was a dizzying change of topography, like returning home after a tsunami to find your bathroom in the basement and your sofa sailing off into the sea.

All was made clear by a helpful sign: ‘LOOKING FOR YOUR FAVOURITES? The government is introducing new rules in October for products containing high fat, sugar or salt. To prepare for this we’re moving a few things around.’ Thank heavens we are being so looked after. Thank heavens that a Conservative government is taking action on obesity by hiding the butter around a pillar and secreting bags of Haribo in a dank corner, concealed behind a screen of succulent, tempting cabbages.

Such warnings and signs have multiplied – so much so that the reasonable ones, usually involving traffic or danger from falling masonry, now seem almost quaint.