Rod Liddle Rod Liddle

Why are there so many fat people in pictures of food banks?

If you’re going to take advantage of a food bank, at least have the good grace to look a bit peckish and skeletal

issue 13 December 2014

Were you aware that the famous actor Andy Garcia was born with a foetus growing out of his left shoulder? It was removed from him when he was a toddler. I had not known this and I am unhappy that some sort of conspiracy, some wall of silence, was constructed to keep this news from the paying public. I watched The Untouchables in blissful ignorance of the fact; had I known I would have picketed the cinema. Come clean about the dead foetus, Garcia! I am aware of the foetus business now only because I stumbled across an excellent website entitled ‘25 Celebrities With Hideous Physical Deformities’, and Garcia was there at number six. Another actor, Jennifer Garner, was in the top ten on account of her ‘mangled toes’, which she has cunningly shielded from the public all these years. The bad toes were the consequence of a nasty condition called brachymetatarsia, apparently.

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