An increasing number of young Brits are single. Many of these people don’t want to be single. They want to be in a relationship. But, for some reason or other, they’re having no luck. Why? What’s holding them back?
A recent study shed light on the factors that contribute to involuntary singlehood in Britain and beyond. The researchers, two psychologists based in Cyprus, explored the impact of sexual functioning, body weight, and whether or not an individual had children from a previous relationship, and how all three affect a person’s relationship status. The findings were published in Evolutionary Psychological Science.
Around 2013, smartphones became ubiquitous, and we started to spend more time on social media
Interestingly, the duo found that poorer sexual functioning was associated with the highest probability of becoming involuntarily single. Sexual dysfunction occurs when an individual has a problem that prevents him or her from desiring or enjoying sexual activity. A number of factors contribute to sexual dysfunction, including depression and anxiety. Across the UK, more and more young people are feeling depressed and anxious – this has been the case for years. In 2018, for example, roughly one-third of 16-24-year-olds in the UK reported feeling depressed or anxious. The draconian lockdowns that accompanied the pandemic made these problems many times worse. As obvious as it sounds, suffering from a serious mental health problem can make it difficult to find a romantic partner, particularly one for a long-term relationship. There is also research showing that the longer a person remains single, the more likely they are to become depressed. And the more depressed they become, the harder it is to find a mate.
Not only are an increasing number of young people single, most of them are having sex much later in life. Many aren’t having sex at all. Body dysmorphia appears to be contributing to the rise of the sad, sexless singles. This mental health disorder, which involves obsessing over perceived flaws in one’s appearance, is on the rise. Specifically, it’s on the rise among children, teens, and twenty-somethings. Research shows males with body dysmorphia are likely to suffer from erectile dysfunction. Body dysmorphia and depression go hand in hand.
Then, of course, there is the matter of technology. To find a potential long-term partner, one must actually go on dates (remember them?) – many, many dates. Dates, as Jerry Seinfeld famously jokes, are like job interviews, and many of these ‘job interviews’ end badly. Building a relationship is like building a house. It takes time, patience, sacrifice, and an abundance of physical and mental energy. It’s a lot of work. It requires complete, undivided attention. Sadly, an increasing number of young people are sacrificing the physical world for the virtual one, rejecting platonic and romantic relationships in the process. One in every ten Brits has zero friends. This didn’t used to be the case. Sure, there were always loners. But there were never this many loners.
Dr Jean Twenge is a psychologist who has spent most of her professional life discussing the mental health problems of young people on both sides of the Atlantic. She has shown that, roughly a decade ago, when smartphones entered the market, ominous trends started to emerge. In both the US and UK, she notes, rates of depression among teens started to skyrocket. More young people started to engage in self-harm, and suicide attempts started to become more frequent.
Around 2013, smartphones became ubiquitous, and we started to spend more time on social media. Today, the average teen spends up to six hours per day doomscrolling their lives away. That works out at 42 hours a week, 7 days per month, and 84 days per year. Imagine, if you will, a 13-year-old getting their first smartphone. By the time they turn 23, it’s quite possible that they will have spent 840 days – almost two and a half years of their life – online.
All those wasted hours spent on Instagram and TikTok are hours young people used to put into starting and maintaining relationships. As Twenge notes, a decade ago, when smartphones conquered Britain, teens started spending less time with their friends in person, and more time ‘with them’ online. In short, they swapped face time for FaceTime.
Is it any wonder that so many young people are currently single? They lack the necessary skills to converse and flirt. Studies clearly demonstrate that increased screen time is associated with lower social skills. With the rise of AI and more immersive technology, expect an increasing number of young people to remain single, sexless, and trapped within their self-imposed prisons.
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